Want to be happy?

What takes all your time? What sucks all your energy away? What limits your possibilities? What makes you go bankrupt? What makes you wake up in the middle of the night? What gives you endless amounts of grey hairs?
The answer to those questions is simple: children!

I am serious.
Think about it: Children mess things up, they are designed to be destructive small machines with a cute face (according to some). They literally eat all your money and make shit out of it. You’ll have no time (or occasion) to do things you like to do, for example; travelling, eating out, party, meet up with friends (if you have any left after getting this little monster) and so on.
Your house/apartment looks like shit because your “little angel” just ruined everything in it.
And of course, you can hardly go to the grocery store, because every time the little critter makes it a living hell for you by either 1: running uncontrollably around, 2: tearing stuff down from the shelves (because it is sooo funny to see mom/dad pick it all up) or 3: screaming like she/he is possessed by Satan himself if it doesn’t get what it wants.

The solution to all this horror is equally simple: don’t get children. Don’t become a parent. Ever.
If you already got children (poor bastard) I see only two solutions: either hope it’ll get better (it won’t) or sell the little demon on the human trade market in Singapore. Don’t hope you’ll get much money for it – just hope you’d get rid of it.

Now it’s your turn, dear reader, to bombard me with positive things about having children! I dare you all to try to convince me that children is sooo good and, oh, sooo giving.

Good luck with that (you’ll need it)! ­čśë